For many years I had wanted to write a song like this.  Actually I thought I’d have to write two or three songs to encompass my feelings about some of my life’s experiences.  But about 10 ears ago, somehow things were dislodged in my heart where I could distill what I wanted to say about it all into one song. 

The first verse talks about my feelings at the deaths of my two brothers, who both took their own lives, one at the age of 17, when I was 18, and the youngest 14 years later at the age of 21, 3 months after I had married and become an instant mom to my 2 stepsons.  I’m sure many can relate to the feelings of this verse with the death of a loved one or a life-alterating event.  I have also applied it to other events in my life, including the painful ins and outs we have gone through in our relationships with our children, and the heart-wrenching moment of delivering a 20-week stillborn baby, our first child together.  The second verse talks specifically about my parents’ divorce when I was 18, and I’m sure you can apply it to many different situations in your lives, situations where we wonder how things can be made right, including the pain that results from living in less-than-perfect situations.  The third talks about things that sometimes I just don’t understand, and changes that occur that sometimes leave me feeling without something to hold onto that’s permanent. 

We know that Christ is the source of all healing and help.  Even as life leaves us wounded, weary, and wondering, we can live to still be close to Him, trusting all along, even in the questions we can't answer now, that we are always in His hands. As we turn to Him, He will make us able to bear our afflictions, even consecrate them to Him, trusting Him enough to know He's got this, and to continue living His ways to be close to Him, as we continue to trust we are in His hands.
We will all have these trials come into our lives that leave us with wounds and questions; the over-riding question is, will we deal with it Christ’s way or another way.  Christ’s way may not immediately remove the doubts or ache or troubled hearts.  But His way will provide peace and stability as we struggle to get over the remaining effects, and eventually as we come to Him with broken hearts and contrite spirits, consecrating our afflictions to Him and our own good, He will provide the healing—the wholeness—we have been seeking. 

Even though we may have faith in Christ’s power to heal and make it all right, we may have to plead and trust, for years even, to be healed and to see things as He see them. Over time His healing and peace come, until that someday, when we will truly know that we, indeed, were always in His hands. It may take years, and it may take a lifetime.  But it will come. 
 
 

Even when we feel we've achieved that healing, the trauma of events and experiences such as these, though, can leave us at a moment's notice, again wounded, aching, and longing for certainty.  

All through that our lives and all the times we go through and the process of healing that is intertwining with continuing events in our lives, we can keep in our hearts the knowledge that there will be that someday, when we see with perfect clarity how it all fit into His plan and how were really were always in His hands.  But until then, it is for us to keep faith in Him, so that His Spirit will help us live so we can faith in Him and be with Him on that someday, even when we cannot see now, even when we don’t know now and can only have faith.  That faith provides us the sure anchor to keep us steadfast when the world around us is in commotion, when we wonder what we can hold on to.  We don’t want to leave Him when we need Him most, even if the help doesn’t come in ways that take the hurt and the doubt away right now.  If we stay with Him, living to qualify for the Spirit that can strengthen our faith and trust in Him, we will experience joy now, even as sometimes life and pain is still real and hard, knowing there will be that someday.